(翻译工作尚未完毕 --- 目前只有英文版的完整文章)

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你好，我是来自马来西亚史里肯邦安市的作曲家兼音乐家 Jellal Koay。

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我在年幼时除了有些不愉快的经历以外还算是过着与其他史里肯邦安市长大的小孩类似的平凡生活。我的家庭虽粗茶淡饭但从不忧愁饮食；我小学中学都在一般县内的学校上课；我没多余的钱出席课后补习班，也从来没有搭过飞机，没有出过国，而且平时也市场需要搭公共交通上学。因此，我从来也没有好奇过我的人生还有多少可能性，也一目无意随从命运给予我的人生真理。

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但在8年前，我之所以萌生尝试写作的念头，是因为我想更好地理解情感这件事，也更好地了解自己。我正好发现到马来西亚艺术学院为成绩优异的中学毕业生们提供奖学金，而我因此得到了修读音乐文聘的机会，并以我当时的作曲学习作为基础，成功获得全免奖学金在杨秀桃音乐学院修读作曲。在杨秀桃音乐学院的慷慨支持下，我得以周游世界，同时深入学习作曲，去了印尼、日本、德国等等国家，也甚至在德国科隆与奥地利维也纳生活了一段时间。这个周末，我也将第一次去美国参与 Composers Conference。这样想想一下，我意识到那八年前来自史里肯邦安市的男孩从来也不会预料到生活会如此变化，也从来没有预料到原来学习作曲也包含了学习那么多作曲以外的事。​​

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With these opportunities and the experiences that come with them, I met different people, experienced different cultures and societies, and most importantly, I was gradually exposed to perspectives that I’ve never seen before. It taught me to consider different perspectives and empathize with realities different from my own. It made me reevaluate my own beliefs and values.

 

But learning to see different perspectives and growing my awareness also meant that an increased awareness to the unjust, and at times, cruel realities in this world. Looking at the current state of the world with this increased awareness, I cannot help but feel an overwhelming sense of hopelessness and impending doom that I am sure that some people definitely feel as well. As mere individuals, we are constantly being convinced that we don’t matter, that we cannot make a difference, that it is futile to fight against the system that teaches us to forsake our humanity.

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I witnessed, in real time, how this hopelessness turned people who were once kind to become extremely bitter, how it made people spiteful and angry, unwilling to listen, let alone consider perspectives which may be different from their beliefs. Eventually, they who once healed others have become the same people who ended up hurting others.

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I don't want to end up being bitter and hurtful. As critical of a person as I am, I don't want to add more hatred into this world that's already filled with so much hate. In retrospect, I feel that some of the bad experiences that I've had have turned me into someone who can sometimes be bitter, and as a result, I know that I have hurt people as I was growing up. But with a little more awareness now, I really want to not be a bitter person.

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But at the same time, I think about the support of people made a difference for me, no matter how insignificant it may have seemed—a classmate lending me his digital piano for me to record my first ever composition, friends who travelled with me to Genting to film a music video for the fun of it, a coffee treat from a composer coming home from USA that mentally prepared me for my studies, social workers who showed me how much they believed in making life better for people who could use some support, a 2-day camera loan from a coursemate for me to shoot for an event that funded my flights, the hair stylist who understood the feeling of trying to make something happen in a foreign land, the English teacher who taught me to hone my reason over reacting instinctively, artists who contrastingly taught me to not totally disregard my humanly instincts etc. And on top of that, there was always support from friends and family. Together, it made it possible for me to see beyond the small world I was in, and to see that, if I hold on to hope for humanity, and hold on to my own humanity... maybe, just maybe, we can still make a difference after all.

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我不过是来自“全球南方”的一名有志于艺术的年轻人，面对着世界所面临的严峻现实。像我这样的人，究竟能为此做些什么呢？我思考了一年左右，终于想到了一个答案：

 

我可以教作曲。

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这未免有点太天真了吧？教作曲能怎样改变世界呢？我一开始也那么想的。

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But 8 years ago, the boy from Seri Kembangan was inspired to try pursuing composition, all just because a friend was being the best version of her growing self. With that as the starting point, along with all the experiences and support that came after it, his world started to change for the better. And so he thought, even if he cannot change the world, he would be happy enough if what he offers could become the one spark needed to change someone's world. If that would help another kid from another Seri Kembangan somewhere on this world to kickstart their journey towards growing into a person who carries hope, maybe that would make this world a better place, even if just by a little more.

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As such, I would like to offer pay-as-you-wish music composition lessons to anyone who may be interested in composition or studying composition. If you are financially capable and value my work, I appreciate your support; but if you have limited financial capacity, I am also totally happy receiving a cheap cup of coffee combined with your dedication towards learning as payment.

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I especially wish to extend this offer to anyone from Malaysia, Singapore, Southeast Asia and anyone from a background with limited resources – so as long as you have a functional device with internet connection (which unfortunately is still a privilege for some), I would be able to offer you composition lessons. I also unfortunately have limited capacity as well, but I would try my very best to help anyone who would really gain a lot from this possibility.

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If you are interested, please write me a message via my social media or via my email jellykuihmusic@gmail.com, and if you have scores and questions etc., I would be happy to feedback them as well. I will caveat by mentioning that my specialization is in Western-tradition contemporary classical music, but if you believe that I may be able to provide some good insights for you, I am definitely open to discussing beyond that subject matter.

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If you are interested to see examples of my work, you can view them on my Music page.

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If you happen to know someone who may benefit from this, I would be very happy if you could share this to them as well.

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Thank you for reading and take care!

 

 

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-- Jellal Koay

2026年7月14日